Does Your Mattress Pass The Human Egg Drop Test? – Purple Mattress

I’m here to prove that Purple® Mattress blows memory foam out of the bedroom. Only Purple passes the Durability Test, Body Heat Test, and the all-new H.E.D. Test – or, “Human Egg Drop Test,” for the layman. The best test to determine a mattress’ comfort and support. Ready, Billy? Billy: No…I just have to — Jake: Perfect. (Billy screams) Just look at how the Purple® Smart Comfort Grid™, made from a super-comfy, yet ultra-supportive material called Hyper-Elastic Polymer® cradled those unfertilized chickies. And, yeah, they’re pretty real. Now, how about that memory foam? Take ‘er up! (Jr. Sasquatch growls) Ready, Billy? Billy: Uuuhhhhhhh… Jake: Great. (Billy groans) See, unlike memory foam, Purple’s unique design cradles your pressure points and redistributes support to the rest of your body, leaving your spine properly aligned. So no more back pain, no matter your body type, sleeping position, or frequency of nightmare.

Man: OH JEE– (especially the ones starring your boss) So what does this mean? Billy: That Purple’s comfortable? Jake: Good boy, Billy. Boss: Jake, that was terrible form. More wrist. Jake: O-Oh! Billy, can you clean this up please? Billy: Yeah… Did you know memory foam was developed in 1966? That’s 10 years older than VHS. And, what’s crazier is the “technology” hasn’t even changed. You’re getting half-century-old technology with all of its problems. So many companies are desperate to call their mattresses high-tech, so they sandwich a little bit of tech into the memory foam. (maniacal laugh) 98% memory foam is still 98% crap. That’s a lot of crap you’re sleeping on, brother… and sisters… …you guys. Purple is the most durable comfort technology in scientific history. While the compact structure of memory foam breaks down and falls apart over time, Purple’s proprietary material keeps shape and stays strong. No more lumpy mattresses, and no more body impressions. Speaking of impressions, memory foam has a big problem. It sleeps hot. And, when exposed to body heat, it softens and loses support, causing you to sink faster than my hopes and dreams at senior prom…

Or Blockbuster Video. Those guys… I feel bad, but they made some mistakes in their hierarchy, and they just… Deep sleep requires low stimuli. Purple is temperature-neutral. It’s grid design and aerated sidewalls create serious airflow so your body heat doesn’t affect your sleep. Stop looking for sleep in all the wrong places. Forget memory foam! These tests are real! You really can sleep cooler and more comfortably, all on a mattress that will outlive the family dog. And, you can personalize your Purple with our many different comfort levels. Purple perfected the science of sound sleep. All you need to do is experience it. And, you can for 100 nights with Purple’s No Pressure Guarantee. So, go ahead try the world’s best mattress. Billy: Hey, Jake? Jake: Purple. Billy: Purple! Jake: He’s fine, he does this a lot. This is his thing. Oh..they just kind of don’t talk and just…don’t touch either. We gave them a the don’t talk, don’t touch rule.

Purple. Billy: Purple! .

Purple™ PowerBase: The Adjustable Bed that You Never Knew You Always Wanted

For more than half a century robots have been trying to figure out how to Watch TV in bed. It wasn’t always this easy. At first we blamed ourselves. Maybe we’re just not programed to relax in bed? Only after experiencing the Purple PowerBase did we finally realize, we’re not the problem our old bed base was! Honestly, I’m ashamed. That thing goes against everything robots represent. Boring, ugly, no tech! My legs were my favorite feature. Now look at them. Look at them! Ah! That thing is literally worse than legos in the carpet. Other adjustable beds where… underwhelming. Some were clunky. And… Dumb. Like first generation Cylons. I don’t want the skin-tight color-coded morphsuit of bed bases, I want the UltraZord! And we just love TV. Turn your bed base into your home base. No matter the activity, Purple PowerBase’s programmable positions have got your back and legs and butt. No more strained necks from propping up on elbows & pillows. Purple PowerBase is great for It’s so advanced, it’s like resting on comfy Iron Man.

And I totally fine with that! You can also control positions using the wireless remote or Purple’s very own smartphone app. If you sleep like us, together but very differently, get our That way the both of you can get the massage you need and sleep however the weird you want. Got a “loud processor”? Try the Anti-Snore position. Want to try a position and with an awesome name? Try Zero Gravity.

Humans will be happy to know that it not only simulates weightlessness, it takes the pressure off your heart and lower back and betters blood flow and opens airways and improves breathing and relaxes sore muscles and even reduces swelling and acid reflux. It’s cool as cool a NASA! Ready to go back to Earth? Hit the one-touch flat button. And how about a massage in your own bed? I’m tired of those guys at the mall. The Purple PowerBase’s crown jewel is the Royal Purple Massage or RPM. It helps to ease tension and fall asleep and stay asleep. You know, after a long day at work. “Is this a robot call?” Why, yes it is! Hello? Oh. While other base massagers vibrate and thump, ruining your bed frame and decimating your cool points. RPM uses patented technology to create a true resonant frequency massage, tuned to the pitch of Purple. Purple PowerBase has so many features, every night feels like a Daft Punk concert.

So dance how you want to. The pro-grip micro-hook retention system will keep your mattress in place. While the under bed lighting, lights the way. Tired of doing the robot? Just plug in to one of our USB or AC ports and charge up. I’m a robot doing the robot! With quick assembly and adjustable height, Purple PowerBase can transform your sleeping experience in a flash! You can even use it with your existing bed frame. Lose that disgusting box spring. You wouldn’t put R2D2 on a crop duster, so don’t put it in nice mattress on a boring no-feature base. Don’t have a nice mattress? Get Purple. Purple PowerBase is optimized for the Purple mattress. You’re old bed base is the worst. Sleep and watch TV the you way like, sitting up, smiling.

Getting a back and butt massage from a Purple PowerBase. Isn’t life great? .

T-Pain Reviews the Purple Mattress

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Children of all age. It’s your homeboy T-pain, the official product tester of fancy.com. Now fancy.com usually sends me products to test out. Hence, product tester. And I love testing out all these products it’s one of my favourite things to do in the day. But you know my favorite kind of product to test? The kind I can go to sleep on. Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce to you Purple! Purple is a new, innovative mattress that I mean is probably the most comfortable thing in my house besides my gut according to my wife.

Purple is definitely not like your memory foam mattress. Here’s a fun fact: memory foam was created ten years before VHS. That’s right VHS! You don’t even know what that is. Purple is the world’s first no pressure mattress. You think about the memory foam mattress that you got right now, I’m pretty sure you got one, and it sinks. Stays where it is. It smells, especially when I get off of one.

You don’t want to smell that, at all. It gets real warm too, that’s another thing I don’t really like about warm mattresses ain’t really my thing, and over time you begin to lose support so what’s the solution? Purple! Super dope mattress! 26 patents and 25 years of of comfort innovation by an actual rocket scientist. You know how people always say “Oh, it’s not rocket science!” Yes it is it actually is! The purple masters uses a Hyper-Elastic Polymer a.k.a. Purple. It cradles your pressure points to relieve pain everywhere on your body and you’ll have better spinal alignment.

It’s really the best of both worlds. it’s firm and it’s soft. That means no more pain and better sleep. I’ve looked online at the purple Mattress and most of the reviews are people talking about how their aches and pains are gone within weeks of sleeping on the purple mattress. It’s actually pretty cool. This is pretty comfortable. I don’t know how successful I’m going to be getting up after filming this. Terrible idea to film this like this. The open grid, waffle like design helps air flow through the mattress, so it helps you sleep cool like Billy Dee Williams. Now if you’re anything like me, that helps you avoid that swamp canoe that you wake up to on the memory foam mattresses. You just in a in a whole little tight spot and you’re sweating and you’re stinking and farting a few times. A lot going on You don’t want that. Now I can shoot this commercial like this because they gave me a hundred day trial if I don’t like it I can ship it back within a hundred days, even if I farted on it already. Pretty good. Good idea. All-in-all, the Purple Mattress so far so good I don’t know how I’m going to get up. It’s the Purple Mattress.

Feels good so far. I got 99 days left to tell them otherwise. I don’t think I’m sending it back now. This is your boy T-Pain, official product tester fancy.com. See you next time! .

Don’t Let Your Mattress Steal Your Sleep – Purple

Hey, hey look! They got one of those Purple Mattresses. *tv crashes to floor* I’ve heard about these. It’s supposed to sleep cool… and it’s specially designed to cradle your pressure points. *contented sigh* *surprised grunt* Oh… *tap tap tap* Huh?! Freeze! *Sleepy sigh* *lullaby music* .