Purple: The Latest Technology in Comfort & Sleep

The mattress industry has a serious problem. The problem is the mattress. And there’s nothing quite like mattress shopping. Didn’t even feel me slide in there did you? What? That’s the memory foam! Now let’s talk about what it’ll take to get you in one of these! Wow! Comfy, and the craziest part is that you pay a premium for that kind of sales experience. But hey! For that price hopefully you can finally sleep comfortably. Nope. Same old mattress technology same old back pain. But you know what? We are scientists and professional sleepers, and we knew of a better way to sleep comfy without having to pawn the dog.

And that’s why we invented Purple. The world’s first ever Hyper-Elastic Polymer mattress. If it sounds a little sciencey, that’s because it is. The only real innovation in mattress tech since 1926, when foam mattresses were cool. Great-grandma Sue was such a hipster. Purple is incredibly comfortable and is different than any other mattress you’ve tried. Let’s take a moment to look at how purple compares to other mattresses out there. Memory foam is not fun for jumping. It allows your body to sink in, then keep sinking, until you’re stuck, and hot, and sweaty. Spring mattresses are fun for jumping, but all those Springs want to do is spring up where you need them to sink down, causing you to sleep as comfortably as pinball.

Purple — though not great for jumping, is perfect for sleeping. Purple is soft and firm at the same time, depending on what area of your body it’s touching. And Purple will never ever leave a body impression in your mattress. Why? Because we’re scientists and we made it that way. We design Purple how you would custom design your best friend. You know — if you could do that. Purple will take the pressure so you don’t have to, and it’s there to support you when and where you need it the most. That means body alignment. When Purple feels the pressure, like under your hips and shoulders it, releases so you can sleep comfy. Giving you the support you crave, and aligning your body so you don’t have to keep your chiropractor on retainer anymore. And Purple is temperature neutral and allows for plenty of airflow, so no more sweaty nights. As the avid sleepers that we are, we know that it takes your body a little time to adjust to a new mattress.

And that’s why we offer a risk-free-why-not-try-it-100-night-guarantee. And on the off chance you don’t like it, no worries. We’ll pick it up from your house free of charge. And you’ll get a whole refund. Purple is the culmination of 26 years of research and development. We’ve been doing this for a while, and our technology has been licensed to brands like, Nike, and, Dr.

Scholl’s. So yeah we do know what we’re doing, and here’s something to chew on: Purple is made in the USA from completely non-toxic, food-grade material that’s right. Food grade but we like sleeping on it better than eating it. And in purple we sell direct to the consumer which means no middleman markups and no markups just for marking up sake. We believe that everyone should be able to afford the world’s best mattress. You’re welcome. Now maybe you think your mattresses all right. Well the purple mattress topper turns all right Comfort into all night comfort and your butt might be saying “Hey, I want it on some of that sweet purple comfort too!” Hey we hear your butt loud and clear.

That’s why we also invented the purple seat cushion. Use it at work, in your car. Wherever that extra comfort is needed. And how well does it work? Well… that well. The seat cushion will be sent right after our campaign funds. So you don’t have to wait to experience Purple’s life changing comfort. Purple. No pressure .

Can Your Mattress Protector Stand up to Sasquatch?

Did you know that the wrong mattress protector can ruin the feel of your mattress? Hi! I’m a mom, one of the hardest jobs out there. This is Junior. Junior is a sweetheart but he can wreak havoc on our mattresses. Which is why I got the Purple Mattress Protector. Nobody likes sleeping on a plastic bag. Other protectors turn your bed crinkly or stiff and they make your mattress noisy, hot, and uncomfortable. Like a Nickelback concert or the first year my marriage. A mattress protector that ruins the feel of your mattress makes about as much sense as my husband’s conspiracy theories. The Purple Protector is stretchy, so it lets your bed do what it was designed to do. The Purple Protector enhances your Purple bed or any bed. It’s soft and flexible, so it doesn’t take away from the supporting power of your mattress. It cradles your pressure points when you lay down. Instead of making your making your mattress hard and uncomfortable. Like watching Transformers 4 through the window of an RV. And the stretchiness means it’s super durable which is nice because Junior has vivid night tears about deforestation.

With other protectors I always felt like I was choosing between comfort and protection. I shouldn’t have to make that choice. I need to protect my mattresses. They’re a big investment, especially on my husband’s salary. With Purple, I don’t have to choose. It’s stretching which means comfy and it protects my mattresses. Which is a huge relief! And as any parent knows, the most important part of a mattress protector is protecting against stains and moisture. My little guys pretty good when he’s awake but night time is a toss-up and that’s okay. Accidents happen. No more mystery stains on your nice mattress. The Purple Protector is waterproof and water absorbent, which will keep your mattress dry and clean. It protects the top andsides of your mattress, so no matter what spills or leaks out of your family members, you’ll know your mattress and your warranty are safe.

It’s stain resistant, so I can just throw the protector in the wash and it’s good as new! I wish I could do that to my husband It’s hypoallergenic and non-toxic and it’s resistant to dust mites which can be a problem in the forest. It’s cool and breathable, which means no more waking up sweaty and damp like a Wookie’s armpit. I even have one on my bed. It’s so comfy I can forget it’s even there. So if Junior gets scared and joins me in bed, I can rest easy knowing my mattress is protected. It even comes with its own 10-year warranty.

What a sweetie. Being a mom can be so fulfilling and the Purple Protector gives me one less thing to worry about. If you or your little monster sleep, click now to protect your mattress. Order your stretchy, soft, waterproof, stain-resistant Purple Protector today. You better believe it’s real. .

Purple: The Latest Technology in Comfort & Sleep

The mattress industry has a serious problem. The problem is the mattress. And there’s nothing quite like mattress shopping. Didn’t even feel me slide in there did you? What? That’s the memory foam! Now let’s talk about what it’ll take to get you in one of these! Wow! Comfy, and the craziest part is that you pay a premium for that kind of sales experience. But hey! For that price hopefully you can finally sleep comfortably. Nope. Same old mattress technology same old back pain. But you know what? We are scientists and professional sleepers, and we knew of a better way to sleep comfy without having to pawn the dog. And that’s why we invented Purple. The world’s first ever Hyper-Elastic Polymer mattress. If it sounds a little sciencey, that’s because it is. The only real innovation in mattress tech since 1926, when foam mattresses were cool. Great-grandma Sue was such a hipster. Purple is incredibly comfortable and is different than any other mattress you’ve tried. Let’s take a moment to look at how purple compares to other mattresses out there.

Memory foam is not fun for jumping. It allows your body to sink in, then keep sinking, until you’re stuck, and hot, and sweaty. Spring mattresses are fun for jumping, but all those Springs want to do is spring up where you need them to sink down, causing you to sleep as comfortably as pinball. Purple — though not great for jumping, is perfect for sleeping. Purple is soft and firm at the same time, depending on what area of your body it’s touching. And Purple will never ever leave a body impression in your mattress. Why? Because we’re scientists and we made it that way. We design Purple how you would custom design your best friend. You know — if you could do that. Purple will take the pressure so you don’t have to, and it’s there to support you when and where you need it the most. That means body alignment. When Purple feels the pressure, like under your hips and shoulders it, releases so you can sleep comfy. Giving you the support you crave, and aligning your body so you don’t have to keep your chiropractor on retainer anymore. And Purple is temperature neutral and allows for plenty of airflow, so no more sweaty nights.

As the avid sleepers that we are, we know that it takes your body a little time to adjust to a new mattress. And that’s why we offer a risk-free-why-not-try-it-100-night-guarantee. And on the off chance you don’t like it, no worries. We’ll pick it up from your house free of charge. And you’ll get a whole refund. Purple is the culmination of 26 years of research and development. We’ve been doing this for a while, and our technology has been licensed to brands like, Nike, and, Dr. Scholl’s. So yeah we do know what we’re doing, and here’s something to chew on: Purple is made in the USA from completely non-toxic, food-grade material that’s right. Food grade but we like sleeping on it better than eating it. And in purple we sell direct to the consumer which means no middleman markups and no markups just for marking up sake.

We believe that everyone should be able to afford the world’s best mattress. You’re welcome. Now maybe you think your mattresses all right. Well the purple mattress topper turns all right Comfort into all night comfort and your butt might be saying “Hey, I want it on some of that sweet purple comfort too!” Hey we hear your butt loud and clear. That’s why we also invented the purple seat cushion.

Use it at work, in your car. Wherever that extra comfort is needed. And how well does it work? Well… that well. The seat cushion will be sent right after our campaign funds. So you don’t have to wait to experience Purple’s life changing comfort. Purple. No pressure .

Purple: The Latest Technology in Comfort & Sleep

The mattress industry has a serious problem. The problem is the mattress. And there’s nothing quite like mattress shopping. Didn’t even feel me slide in there did you? What? That’s the memory foam! Now let’s talk about what it’ll take to get you in one of these! Wow! Comfy, and the craziest part is that you pay a premium for that kind of sales experience. But hey! For that price hopefully you can finally sleep comfortably. Nope. Same old mattress technology same old back pain. But you know what? We are scientists and professional sleepers, and we knew of a better way to sleep comfy without having to pawn the dog. And that’s why we invented Purple. The world’s first ever Hyper-Elastic Polymer mattress. If it sounds a little sciencey, that’s because it is. The only real innovation in mattress tech since 1926, when foam mattresses were cool. Great-grandma Sue was such a hipster. Purple is incredibly comfortable and is different than any other mattress you’ve tried. Let’s take a moment to look at how purple compares to other mattresses out there.

Memory foam is not fun for jumping. It allows your body to sink in, then keep sinking, until you’re stuck, and hot, and sweaty. Spring mattresses are fun for jumping, but all those Springs want to do is spring up where you need them to sink down, causing you to sleep as comfortably as pinball. Purple — though not great for jumping, is perfect for sleeping. Purple is soft and firm at the same time, depending on what area of your body it’s touching. And Purple will never ever leave a body impression in your mattress. Why? Because we’re scientists and we made it that way.

We design Purple how you would custom design your best friend. You know — if you could do that. Purple will take the pressure so you don’t have to, and it’s there to support you when and where you need it the most. That means body alignment. When Purple feels the pressure, like under your hips and shoulders it, releases so you can sleep comfy. Giving you the support you crave, and aligning your body so you don’t have to keep your chiropractor on retainer anymore.

And Purple is temperature neutral and allows for plenty of airflow, so no more sweaty nights. As the avid sleepers that we are, we know that it takes your body a little time to adjust to a new mattress. And that’s why we offer a risk-free-why-not-try-it-100-night-guarantee. And on the off chance you don’t like it, no worries. We’ll pick it up from your house free of charge.

And you’ll get a whole refund. Purple is the culmination of 26 years of research and development. We’ve been doing this for a while, and our technology has been licensed to brands like, Nike, and, Dr. Scholl’s. So yeah we do know what we’re doing, and here’s something to chew on: Purple is made in the USA from completely non-toxic, food-grade material that’s right. Food grade but we like sleeping on it better than eating it. And in purple we sell direct to the consumer which means no middleman markups and no markups just for marking up sake. We believe that everyone should be able to afford the world’s best mattress. You’re welcome. Now maybe you think your mattresses all right. Well the purple mattress topper turns all right Comfort into all night comfort and your butt might be saying “Hey, I want it on some of that sweet purple comfort too!” Hey we hear your butt loud and clear.

That’s why we also invented the purple seat cushion. Use it at work, in your car. Wherever that extra comfort is needed. And how well does it work? Well… that well. The seat cushion will be sent right after our campaign funds. So you don’t have to wait to experience Purple’s life changing comfort. Purple. No pressure .

Does Your Mattress Pass The Human Egg Drop Test? – Purple Mattress

I’m here to prove that Purple® Mattress blows memory foam out of the bedroom. Only Purple passes the Durability Test, Body Heat Test, and the all-new H.E.D. Test – or, “Human Egg Drop Test,” for the layman. The best test to determine a mattress’ comfort and support. Ready, Billy? Billy: No…I just have to — Jake: Perfect. (Billy screams) Just look at how the Purple® Smart Comfort Grid™, made from a super-comfy, yet ultra-supportive material called Hyper-Elastic Polymer® cradled those unfertilized chickies. And, yeah, they’re pretty real. Now, how about that memory foam? Take ‘er up! (Jr. Sasquatch growls) Ready, Billy? Billy: Uuuhhhhhhh… Jake: Great. (Billy groans) See, unlike memory foam, Purple’s unique design cradles your pressure points and redistributes support to the rest of your body, leaving your spine properly aligned. So no more back pain, no matter your body type, sleeping position, or frequency of nightmare.

Man: OH JEE– (especially the ones starring your boss) So what does this mean? Billy: That Purple’s comfortable? Jake: Good boy, Billy. Boss: Jake, that was terrible form. More wrist. Jake: O-Oh! Billy, can you clean this up please? Billy: Yeah… Did you know memory foam was developed in 1966? That’s 10 years older than VHS. And, what’s crazier is the “technology” hasn’t even changed. You’re getting half-century-old technology with all of its problems. So many companies are desperate to call their mattresses high-tech, so they sandwich a little bit of tech into the memory foam. (maniacal laugh) 98% memory foam is still 98% crap. That’s a lot of crap you’re sleeping on, brother… and sisters… …you guys. Purple is the most durable comfort technology in scientific history. While the compact structure of memory foam breaks down and falls apart over time, Purple’s proprietary material keeps shape and stays strong. No more lumpy mattresses, and no more body impressions. Speaking of impressions, memory foam has a big problem. It sleeps hot. And, when exposed to body heat, it softens and loses support, causing you to sink faster than my hopes and dreams at senior prom…

Or Blockbuster Video. Those guys… I feel bad, but they made some mistakes in their hierarchy, and they just… Deep sleep requires low stimuli. Purple is temperature-neutral. It’s grid design and aerated sidewalls create serious airflow so your body heat doesn’t affect your sleep. Stop looking for sleep in all the wrong places. Forget memory foam! These tests are real! You really can sleep cooler and more comfortably, all on a mattress that will outlive the family dog. And, you can personalize your Purple with our many different comfort levels. Purple perfected the science of sound sleep. All you need to do is experience it. And, you can for 100 nights with Purple’s No Pressure Guarantee. So, go ahead try the world’s best mattress. Billy: Hey, Jake? Jake: Purple. Billy: Purple! Jake: He’s fine, he does this a lot. This is his thing. Oh..they just kind of don’t talk and just…don’t touch either. We gave them a the don’t talk, don’t touch rule.

Purple. Billy: Purple! .

Purple: The Latest Technology in Comfort & Sleep

The mattress industry has a serious problem. The problem is the mattress. And there’s nothing quite like mattress shopping. Didn’t even feel me slide in there did you? What? That’s the memory foam! Now let’s talk about what it’ll take to get you in one of these! Wow! Comfy, and the craziest part is that you pay a premium for that kind of sales experience. But hey! For that price hopefully you can finally sleep comfortably. Nope. Same old mattress technology same old back pain. But you know what? We are scientists and professional sleepers, and we knew of a better way to sleep comfy without having to pawn the dog. And that’s why we invented Purple. The world’s first ever Hyper-Elastic Polymer mattress.

If it sounds a little sciencey, that’s because it is. The only real innovation in mattress tech since 1926, when foam mattresses were cool. Great-grandma Sue was such a hipster. Purple is incredibly comfortable and is different than any other mattress you’ve tried. Let’s take a moment to look at how purple compares to other mattresses out there. Memory foam is not fun for jumping. It allows your body to sink in, then keep sinking, until you’re stuck, and hot, and sweaty. Spring mattresses are fun for jumping, but all those Springs want to do is spring up where you need them to sink down, causing you to sleep as comfortably as pinball. Purple — though not great for jumping, is perfect for sleeping. Purple is soft and firm at the same time, depending on what area of your body it’s touching.

And Purple will never ever leave a body impression in your mattress. Why? Because we’re scientists and we made it that way. We design Purple how you would custom design your best friend. You know — if you could do that. Purple will take the pressure so you don’t have to, and it’s there to support you when and where you need it the most. That means body alignment. When Purple feels the pressure, like under your hips and shoulders it, releases so you can sleep comfy. Giving you the support you crave, and aligning your body so you don’t have to keep your chiropractor on retainer anymore. And Purple is temperature neutral and allows for plenty of airflow, so no more sweaty nights.

As the avid sleepers that we are, we know that it takes your body a little time to adjust to a new mattress. And that’s why we offer a risk-free-why-not-try-it-100-night-guarantee. And on the off chance you don’t like it, no worries. We’ll pick it up from your house free of charge. And you’ll get a whole refund. Purple is the culmination of 26 years of research and development. We’ve been doing this for a while, and our technology has been licensed to brands like, Nike, and, Dr. Scholl’s. So yeah we do know what we’re doing, and here’s something to chew on: Purple is made in the USA from completely non-toxic, food-grade material that’s right. Food grade but we like sleeping on it better than eating it. And in purple we sell direct to the consumer which means no middleman markups and no markups just for marking up sake.

We believe that everyone should be able to afford the world’s best mattress. You’re welcome. Now maybe you think your mattresses all right. Well the purple mattress topper turns all right Comfort into all night comfort and your butt might be saying “Hey, I want it on some of that sweet purple comfort too!” Hey we hear your butt loud and clear. That’s why we also invented the purple seat cushion. Use it at work, in your car. Wherever that extra comfort is needed. And how well does it work? Well… that well. The seat cushion will be sent right after our campaign funds. So you don’t have to wait to experience Purple’s life changing comfort. Purple. No pressure .

Purple™ PowerBase: The Adjustable Bed that You Never Knew You Always Wanted

For more than half a century robots have been trying to figure out how to Watch TV in bed. It wasn’t always this easy. At first we blamed ourselves. Maybe we’re just not programed to relax in bed? Only after experiencing the Purple PowerBase did we finally realize, we’re not the problem our old bed base was! Honestly, I’m ashamed. That thing goes against everything robots represent. Boring, ugly, no tech! My legs were my favorite feature. Now look at them. Look at them! Ah! That thing is literally worse than legos in the carpet. Other adjustable beds where… underwhelming. Some were clunky. And… Dumb. Like first generation Cylons. I don’t want the skin-tight color-coded morphsuit of bed bases, I want the UltraZord! And we just love TV. Turn your bed base into your home base. No matter the activity, Purple PowerBase’s programmable positions have got your back and legs and butt. No more strained necks from propping up on elbows & pillows. Purple PowerBase is great for It’s so advanced, it’s like resting on comfy Iron Man.

And I totally fine with that! You can also control positions using the wireless remote or Purple’s very own smartphone app. If you sleep like us, together but very differently, get our That way the both of you can get the massage you need and sleep however the weird you want. Got a “loud processor”? Try the Anti-Snore position. Want to try a position and with an awesome name? Try Zero Gravity.

Humans will be happy to know that it not only simulates weightlessness, it takes the pressure off your heart and lower back and betters blood flow and opens airways and improves breathing and relaxes sore muscles and even reduces swelling and acid reflux. It’s cool as cool a NASA! Ready to go back to Earth? Hit the one-touch flat button. And how about a massage in your own bed? I’m tired of those guys at the mall. The Purple PowerBase’s crown jewel is the Royal Purple Massage or RPM. It helps to ease tension and fall asleep and stay asleep. You know, after a long day at work. “Is this a robot call?” Why, yes it is! Hello? Oh. While other base massagers vibrate and thump, ruining your bed frame and decimating your cool points. RPM uses patented technology to create a true resonant frequency massage, tuned to the pitch of Purple. Purple PowerBase has so many features, every night feels like a Daft Punk concert.

So dance how you want to. The pro-grip micro-hook retention system will keep your mattress in place. While the under bed lighting, lights the way. Tired of doing the robot? Just plug in to one of our USB or AC ports and charge up. I’m a robot doing the robot! With quick assembly and adjustable height, Purple PowerBase can transform your sleeping experience in a flash! You can even use it with your existing bed frame. Lose that disgusting box spring. You wouldn’t put R2D2 on a crop duster, so don’t put it in nice mattress on a boring no-feature base. Don’t have a nice mattress? Get Purple. Purple PowerBase is optimized for the Purple mattress. You’re old bed base is the worst. Sleep and watch TV the you way like, sitting up, smiling.

Getting a back and butt massage from a Purple PowerBase. Isn’t life great? .

How to Use a Raw Egg to Determine if Your Mattress is Awful – Purple Mattress

What’s a super easy way to tell if your bed is awful? The egg test. Let me prove it. When it comes to mattresses, you used to have only 3 choices. Looking for some shoulder pain? Try a hard mattress. It may feel like a rock, and put pressure on your hips, but it’s the perfect way to tell your partner, “Hey baby, want some arthritis?” It just fails the raw egg test. Then there’s the soft mattress.

It starts out ok, but collapses over time, like some cheap sneakers, or Anakin Skywalker. And since it comes without back support, you get to try cool new hobbies, like chronic pain. But it also fails the raw egg test. Now let me explain the eggs. The raw egg test states that the perfect bed will let you put weight on raw eggs without breaking them. ‘Cause if a bed can cradle raw eggs while supporting all that weight, it’ll also cradle your pressure points while supporting your body, for maximum comfort. Well if the hard bed’s bad at cradling, and the soft bed’s bad at supporting, at least the medium bed is juuuuust… Terrible. It’s not firm enough for back support or soft enough for your pressure points, so in the end it’s just a sad middle ground, like limbo, or a whoosy centaur. It’s average. No one wants average. Now, to get around that… some beds come with $5,000 dollar remotes so you can choose between hard bed problems or soft bed problems. They’re so high-tech, they fail the egg test twice.

I don’t need a bed that’s hard, soft, or average. I need the best of firm and soft, without the drawbacks. Introducing Purple — the only mattress that cradles your pressure points like a soft bed, while supporting everywhere else like a firm one. Need proof? Lets check double check. Triple check. All the checks! And I am really heavy for a little girl from a fairytale. Yes, these raw eggs are raw. And no, we didn’t fake it. How lame would that be? You’re lame for thinking that. How can a bed be this comfortable? Maybe ‘cause it has 15 patents, was created by an actual rocket scientist, and uses a comfort grid system to distribute weight across any body type, giving you the best sleep you’ve ever had, guaranteed. Thanks, science. Now, there’s a catch. Most high-end mattresses cost 5,000 dollars. But ours is only 1,000. We’re sorry about that. We’re the best. But you can spend that extra money on, I don’t know… AN ADORABLE BABY BEAR?!?! AUGH!! But don’t let it on the mattress though, it will pee all over it. And while you’re saving money, you’ll save time too- ‘Cause we’re shipping the Purple right to your door for free.

Thankyou! Now I have two! We’re so convinced you’ll love Purple — if it doesn’t change your life in the first 100 nights, we’ll take it back for a complete refund. That’s Purple’s no pressure guarantee. I love you. So if you or someone you know sleeps, click here to buy your Purple at onpurple.com And say goodbye to the rock hard prison bed. The saggy swamp bed. The average bed. And the expensive remote. Get yourself into a Purple. And Mom and Pop, it’s not the 1940s. Share a bed already. And make sure it’s a Purple.

Becuase you guys have been sleeping in garbage. Click now to start your 100 night trial of nocturnal bliss. No pressure. It’s Purple. Action Need proof. Lift glass See those are real eggs not hardboiled not plastic not wooden I just burst them cut. That’s a cut! .

Introducing Purple Sheets. Stretchiest, Comfiest, Bamboo Sheets Ever.

Story: Your sheets, cheap or expensive, are ruining your life. I’m just kidding, that’s a little bit too far, but they are making your bed less comfortable. That’s why I got Purple Sheets. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft, strong, stretchy. because these sheets are just… If you don’t wake up each morning feeling like you wrestled with a grizzly bear then you’re sleeping in the wrong kind of sheets. I’m a flannel man. Lies peasant, lies! Only Egyptian cotton with thread count so high the number cease to have meaning offer the finest form of slumber. Come again! Sleeping with flannel is like having typhoid fever without the chance of death. It’s so hot, it wraps you in spree arms and bleeds the sweat right out of ya. It’s so rugged it covers ya in manly rashes. Wash ’em out, Rockets! Imagine… sleeping on it hippogriff, the wind in your face as you embrace and spoon a cloud…

That’s cotton. Tough, tried–and–true, flannel does the job for you. Egyptian cotton is divine. Flannelllll! …ENOUGH! They’re bed sheets. You shouldn’t have to choose between sheets made from a high end bologna. My mom made me bologna all the time. Purple® Bed Sheets for the no-nonsense sleep better solution. For people who obsess over sheets, like me. Definitely me, but you as well! For people who don’t give a rat’s buttocks.

Like him. Got ya. Other sheets suck the comfort soul right out of the mattress, by being too tight or too ridgid. It creates a drum over the bed that your body can’t conform to. You don’t put bunny ears on a 4K T.V., do you? on your sweet mattress purple bed sheets maximize the comfort of your bag it’s the only bed sheet that’s made from bamboo fabric that’s also super stretchy it’s like a 1980’s superhero Oh my gosh, stop.

Cut it, cut! Curtis, get out of here. Look at the competition. It’s rigid and stiff, and so very rigid. Oh man we’re talking stone tablets over here, okay. Look at Purple! Oh my gosh, look at the stretch here! You seeing this? Now are you looking at this? There’s so much stretch to it. Sometimes in my room, I like to sleep in a stretchy pants and these stretchy sheets.

See the stretch? But look, Grizzly, Purple® Bed Sheets are durable without being uncomfortable or scratching. Shouldn’t have to feel like a high school dance when you go to bed. Did you know that Purple® Bed Sheets are sups breathable and airy? and super soft without being stiff and this heavy duty elastic band on the fitted sheet means that actually fit and stays on the mattress How sweet is that?! No more sheet battles. Okay Okay Wow Can we nominate these for the Noble Sleep Prize? Wait a second. We’ve got it! I thought this would be bigger, but it’ll do. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft and strong, seamless, stretchy, cool, comfortable, and easy to clean all at the same time. Your sheets should unleash endless possibilities of comfort for your bed. If you have a bad and want unleash it, click here! Hello.

Look at. Baby! Baby, baby oh! .

T-Pain Reviews the Purple Mattress

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Children of all age. It’s your homeboy T-pain, the official product tester of fancy.com. Now fancy.com usually sends me products to test out. Hence, product tester. And I love testing out all these products it’s one of my favourite things to do in the day. But you know my favorite kind of product to test? The kind I can go to sleep on. Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce to you Purple! Purple is a new, innovative mattress that I mean is probably the most comfortable thing in my house besides my gut according to my wife.

Purple is definitely not like your memory foam mattress. Here’s a fun fact: memory foam was created ten years before VHS. That’s right VHS! You don’t even know what that is. Purple is the world’s first no pressure mattress. You think about the memory foam mattress that you got right now, I’m pretty sure you got one, and it sinks. Stays where it is. It smells, especially when I get off of one.

You don’t want to smell that, at all. It gets real warm too, that’s another thing I don’t really like about warm mattresses ain’t really my thing, and over time you begin to lose support so what’s the solution? Purple! Super dope mattress! 26 patents and 25 years of of comfort innovation by an actual rocket scientist. You know how people always say “Oh, it’s not rocket science!” Yes it is it actually is! The purple masters uses a Hyper-Elastic Polymer a.k.a. Purple. It cradles your pressure points to relieve pain everywhere on your body and you’ll have better spinal alignment.

It’s really the best of both worlds. it’s firm and it’s soft. That means no more pain and better sleep. I’ve looked online at the purple Mattress and most of the reviews are people talking about how their aches and pains are gone within weeks of sleeping on the purple mattress. It’s actually pretty cool. This is pretty comfortable. I don’t know how successful I’m going to be getting up after filming this. Terrible idea to film this like this. The open grid, waffle like design helps air flow through the mattress, so it helps you sleep cool like Billy Dee Williams. Now if you’re anything like me, that helps you avoid that swamp canoe that you wake up to on the memory foam mattresses. You just in a in a whole little tight spot and you’re sweating and you’re stinking and farting a few times. A lot going on You don’t want that. Now I can shoot this commercial like this because they gave me a hundred day trial if I don’t like it I can ship it back within a hundred days, even if I farted on it already. Pretty good. Good idea. All-in-all, the Purple Mattress so far so good I don’t know how I’m going to get up. It’s the Purple Mattress.

Feels good so far. I got 99 days left to tell them otherwise. I don’t think I’m sending it back now. This is your boy T-Pain, official product tester fancy.com. See you next time! .

The Purple® Pillow: Official Kickstarter Video

How do you know if the pillow you’re sleeping on is garbage? Warning, what you’re about to see is actual actual science. Strike! Strike! Actual garbage. I’m as shocked as you are. Ahhh. So that’s how you know if the pillow you are sleeping is full of garbage. Unfortunately expensive or cheap most pillows on the market are simply…Terrible. And this is exactly why the real-life comfort scientists that brought you the revolutionary purple bed put their inventive genius to work on designing a completely new kind of pillow. Presenting, the Purple Pillow. The only pillow designed to perfectly respond to your individual sleep type. Huh interesting. Still comfy? Thank you sir. You’re, you’re free to go… Huh…But before we get too far into the Purple Pillow let’s take a quick look at what’s inside other pillows on the market.

You see for years pillow technology has refused to grow up. Like your brother who’s still waiting for his Hogwarts acceptance letter. I caught the snitch! Yes! They basically take some loose softish stuff and put it inside of a bag This is a problem though if the inside of a pillow is just loose fluff no matter how you shape and shift your pillow to fit your neck as you sleep it all falls flat this is the reason that no matter what your bedtime pillow looks like your morning pillow looks like this… The halfpipe a u-shaped gulch caused by a complete evacuation of the pillow fluff to either side the wedge The wedge. The flattening of fluff resulting in no neck support and basic sadness The untamable bulge caused by an overstuffed or over firm pillow; results in a 90-degree neck sleep position and a future job as an evil henchmen The curvy girl these curves are always either too much to handle or there just isn’t enough for true neck support oh and its memory foam so no thanks.

Others tho have tried to fix the problem of loose fluff with this memory foam but memory foam has its own problems. It starts softish, then as it warms the cells compact it loses its shape and becomes a hot sweaty brick. Unlike any pillow before it Purple Pillow uses a patented comfort grid system that gives locally but not globally and even the design the grid itself is specially engineered to sink a bit more in the center where your head rests while remaining comfortably supportive under your neck where you need it I mean just look at that beautiful neck alignment and it doesn’t matter if you sleep back, side or undecided the Purple Pillow will give you the exact support you need every time and that there is the magic of science everybody! But what if you find you need more or less support? Well for those who crave adjustability the Purple Pillow is equipped with an adjustable air booster that you can raise or lower to your exact comfort needs.

It’s a completely new sleeping experience. It doesn’t feel like the pillows of old, it’s got kind of like a blobby feel, like sleeping on the belly of a friendly fat man which trust me is a good thing. Also we’ve said it before, weight is quality in the Purple Pillow is quality and it’s adjustability makes it the perfect pillow for everyone. Yup, that’s 80 comforts per minute. Mama that’s comfortable! So you can go ahead and take all your old pillows and burn them! Actually don’t because many of them are full of toxic chemicals that we just don’t want to breathe and hey to all you chronic pillow flippers always craving the cool side of the pillow well you are always sleeping on the cool side of the pillow.

It reads much cooler in post sleep temperature than the competition. If you or someone you know sleeps you need the Purple Pillow. Click here to go to OnPurple.com Purple, no pressure. ::Action:: Mom! I caught the snitch I caught the snitch mom! Yes! Yes, yes! The snitch is mine! .

Don’t Let Your Mattress Steal Your Sleep – Purple

Hey, hey look! They got one of those Purple Mattresses. *tv crashes to floor* I’ve heard about these. It’s supposed to sleep cool… and it’s specially designed to cradle your pressure points. *contented sigh* *surprised grunt* Oh… *tap tap tap* Huh?! Freeze! *Sleepy sigh* *lullaby music* .