Purple™ PowerBase: The Adjustable Bed that You Never Knew You Always Wanted

For more than half a century robots have been trying to figure out how to Watch TV in bed. It wasn’t always this easy. At first we blamed ourselves. Maybe we’re just not programed to relax in bed? Only after experiencing the Purple PowerBase did we finally realize, we’re not the problem our old bed base was! Honestly, I’m ashamed. That thing goes against everything robots represent. Boring, ugly, no tech! My legs were my favorite feature. Now look at them. Look at them! Ah! That thing is literally worse than legos in the carpet. Other adjustable beds where… underwhelming. Some were clunky. And… Dumb. Like first generation Cylons. I don’t want the skin-tight color-coded morphsuit of bed bases, I want the UltraZord! And we just love TV. Turn your bed base into your home base. No matter the activity, Purple PowerBase’s programmable positions have got your back and legs and butt. No more strained necks from propping up on elbows & pillows. Purple PowerBase is great for It’s so advanced, it’s like resting on comfy Iron Man.

And I totally fine with that! You can also control positions using the wireless remote or Purple’s very own smartphone app. If you sleep like us, together but very differently, get our That way the both of you can get the massage you need and sleep however the weird you want. Got a “loud processor”? Try the Anti-Snore position. Want to try a position and with an awesome name? Try Zero Gravity.

Humans will be happy to know that it not only simulates weightlessness, it takes the pressure off your heart and lower back and betters blood flow and opens airways and improves breathing and relaxes sore muscles and even reduces swelling and acid reflux. It’s cool as cool a NASA! Ready to go back to Earth? Hit the one-touch flat button. And how about a massage in your own bed? I’m tired of those guys at the mall. The Purple PowerBase’s crown jewel is the Royal Purple Massage or RPM. It helps to ease tension and fall asleep and stay asleep. You know, after a long day at work. “Is this a robot call?” Why, yes it is! Hello? Oh. While other base massagers vibrate and thump, ruining your bed frame and decimating your cool points. RPM uses patented technology to create a true resonant frequency massage, tuned to the pitch of Purple. Purple PowerBase has so many features, every night feels like a Daft Punk concert.

So dance how you want to. The pro-grip micro-hook retention system will keep your mattress in place. While the under bed lighting, lights the way. Tired of doing the robot? Just plug in to one of our USB or AC ports and charge up. I’m a robot doing the robot! With quick assembly and adjustable height, Purple PowerBase can transform your sleeping experience in a flash! You can even use it with your existing bed frame. Lose that disgusting box spring. You wouldn’t put R2D2 on a crop duster, so don’t put it in nice mattress on a boring no-feature base. Don’t have a nice mattress? Get Purple. Purple PowerBase is optimized for the Purple mattress. You’re old bed base is the worst. Sleep and watch TV the you way like, sitting up, smiling.

Getting a back and butt massage from a Purple PowerBase. Isn’t life great? .

Introducing Purple Sheets. Stretchiest, Comfiest, Bamboo Sheets Ever.

Story: Your sheets, cheap or expensive, are ruining your life. I’m just kidding, that’s a little bit too far, but they are making your bed less comfortable. That’s why I got Purple Sheets. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft, strong, stretchy. because these sheets are just… If you don’t wake up each morning feeling like you wrestled with a grizzly bear then you’re sleeping in the wrong kind of sheets. I’m a flannel man. Lies peasant, lies! Only Egyptian cotton with thread count so high the number cease to have meaning offer the finest form of slumber. Come again! Sleeping with flannel is like having typhoid fever without the chance of death. It’s so hot, it wraps you in spree arms and bleeds the sweat right out of ya. It’s so rugged it covers ya in manly rashes. Wash ’em out, Rockets! Imagine… sleeping on it hippogriff, the wind in your face as you embrace and spoon a cloud…

That’s cotton. Tough, tried–and–true, flannel does the job for you. Egyptian cotton is divine. Flannelllll! …ENOUGH! They’re bed sheets. You shouldn’t have to choose between sheets made from a high end bologna. My mom made me bologna all the time. Purple® Bed Sheets for the no-nonsense sleep better solution. For people who obsess over sheets, like me. Definitely me, but you as well! For people who don’t give a rat’s buttocks.

Like him. Got ya. Other sheets suck the comfort soul right out of the mattress, by being too tight or too ridgid. It creates a drum over the bed that your body can’t conform to. You don’t put bunny ears on a 4K T.V., do you? on your sweet mattress purple bed sheets maximize the comfort of your bag it’s the only bed sheet that’s made from bamboo fabric that’s also super stretchy it’s like a 1980’s superhero Oh my gosh, stop.

Cut it, cut! Curtis, get out of here. Look at the competition. It’s rigid and stiff, and so very rigid. Oh man we’re talking stone tablets over here, okay. Look at Purple! Oh my gosh, look at the stretch here! You seeing this? Now are you looking at this? There’s so much stretch to it. Sometimes in my room, I like to sleep in a stretchy pants and these stretchy sheets.

See the stretch? But look, Grizzly, Purple® Bed Sheets are durable without being uncomfortable or scratching. Shouldn’t have to feel like a high school dance when you go to bed. Did you know that Purple® Bed Sheets are sups breathable and airy? and super soft without being stiff and this heavy duty elastic band on the fitted sheet means that actually fit and stays on the mattress How sweet is that?! No more sheet battles. Okay Okay Wow Can we nominate these for the Noble Sleep Prize? Wait a second. We’ve got it! I thought this would be bigger, but it’ll do. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft and strong, seamless, stretchy, cool, comfortable, and easy to clean all at the same time. Your sheets should unleash endless possibilities of comfort for your bed. If you have a bad and want unleash it, click here! Hello.

Look at. Baby! Baby, baby oh! .