Introducing Purple Sheets. Stretchiest, Comfiest, Bamboo Sheets Ever.

Story: Your sheets, cheap or expensive, are ruining your life. I’m just kidding, that’s a little bit too far, but they are making your bed less comfortable. That’s why I got Purple Sheets. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft, strong, stretchy. because these sheets are just… If you don’t wake up each morning feeling like you wrestled with a grizzly bear then you’re sleeping in the wrong kind of sheets. I’m a flannel man. Lies peasant, lies! Only Egyptian cotton with thread count so high the number cease to have meaning offer the finest form of slumber. Come again! Sleeping with flannel is like having typhoid fever without the chance of death. It’s so hot, it wraps you in spree arms and bleeds the sweat right out of ya. It’s so rugged it covers ya in manly rashes. Wash ’em out, Rockets! Imagine… sleeping on it hippogriff, the wind in your face as you embrace and spoon a cloud…

That’s cotton. Tough, tried–and–true, flannel does the job for you. Egyptian cotton is divine. Flannelllll! …ENOUGH! They’re bed sheets. You shouldn’t have to choose between sheets made from a high end bologna. My mom made me bologna all the time. Purple® Bed Sheets for the no-nonsense sleep better solution. For people who obsess over sheets, like me. Definitely me, but you as well! For people who don’t give a rat’s buttocks.

Like him. Got ya. Other sheets suck the comfort soul right out of the mattress, by being too tight or too ridgid. It creates a drum over the bed that your body can’t conform to. You don’t put bunny ears on a 4K T.V., do you? on your sweet mattress purple bed sheets maximize the comfort of your bag it’s the only bed sheet that’s made from bamboo fabric that’s also super stretchy it’s like a 1980’s superhero Oh my gosh, stop.

Cut it, cut! Curtis, get out of here. Look at the competition. It’s rigid and stiff, and so very rigid. Oh man we’re talking stone tablets over here, okay. Look at Purple! Oh my gosh, look at the stretch here! You seeing this? Now are you looking at this? There’s so much stretch to it. Sometimes in my room, I like to sleep in a stretchy pants and these stretchy sheets.

See the stretch? But look, Grizzly, Purple® Bed Sheets are durable without being uncomfortable or scratching. Shouldn’t have to feel like a high school dance when you go to bed. Did you know that Purple® Bed Sheets are sups breathable and airy? and super soft without being stiff and this heavy duty elastic band on the fitted sheet means that actually fit and stays on the mattress How sweet is that?! No more sheet battles. Okay Okay Wow Can we nominate these for the Noble Sleep Prize? Wait a second. We’ve got it! I thought this would be bigger, but it’ll do. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft and strong, seamless, stretchy, cool, comfortable, and easy to clean all at the same time. Your sheets should unleash endless possibilities of comfort for your bed. If you have a bad and want unleash it, click here! Hello.

Look at. Baby! Baby, baby oh! .

The Purple® Pillow: Official Kickstarter Video

How do you know if the pillow you’re sleeping on is garbage? Warning, what you’re about to see is actual actual science. Strike! Strike! Actual garbage. I’m as shocked as you are. Ahhh. So that’s how you know if the pillow you are sleeping is full of garbage. Unfortunately expensive or cheap most pillows on the market are simply…Terrible. And this is exactly why the real-life comfort scientists that brought you the revolutionary purple bed put their inventive genius to work on designing a completely new kind of pillow. Presenting, the Purple Pillow. The only pillow designed to perfectly respond to your individual sleep type. Huh interesting. Still comfy? Thank you sir. You’re, you’re free to go… Huh…But before we get too far into the Purple Pillow let’s take a quick look at what’s inside other pillows on the market.

You see for years pillow technology has refused to grow up. Like your brother who’s still waiting for his Hogwarts acceptance letter. I caught the snitch! Yes! They basically take some loose softish stuff and put it inside of a bag This is a problem though if the inside of a pillow is just loose fluff no matter how you shape and shift your pillow to fit your neck as you sleep it all falls flat this is the reason that no matter what your bedtime pillow looks like your morning pillow looks like this… The halfpipe a u-shaped gulch caused by a complete evacuation of the pillow fluff to either side the wedge The wedge. The flattening of fluff resulting in no neck support and basic sadness The untamable bulge caused by an overstuffed or over firm pillow; results in a 90-degree neck sleep position and a future job as an evil henchmen The curvy girl these curves are always either too much to handle or there just isn’t enough for true neck support oh and its memory foam so no thanks.

Others tho have tried to fix the problem of loose fluff with this memory foam but memory foam has its own problems. It starts softish, then as it warms the cells compact it loses its shape and becomes a hot sweaty brick. Unlike any pillow before it Purple Pillow uses a patented comfort grid system that gives locally but not globally and even the design the grid itself is specially engineered to sink a bit more in the center where your head rests while remaining comfortably supportive under your neck where you need it I mean just look at that beautiful neck alignment and it doesn’t matter if you sleep back, side or undecided the Purple Pillow will give you the exact support you need every time and that there is the magic of science everybody! But what if you find you need more or less support? Well for those who crave adjustability the Purple Pillow is equipped with an adjustable air booster that you can raise or lower to your exact comfort needs.

It’s a completely new sleeping experience. It doesn’t feel like the pillows of old, it’s got kind of like a blobby feel, like sleeping on the belly of a friendly fat man which trust me is a good thing. Also we’ve said it before, weight is quality in the Purple Pillow is quality and it’s adjustability makes it the perfect pillow for everyone. Yup, that’s 80 comforts per minute. Mama that’s comfortable! So you can go ahead and take all your old pillows and burn them! Actually don’t because many of them are full of toxic chemicals that we just don’t want to breathe and hey to all you chronic pillow flippers always craving the cool side of the pillow well you are always sleeping on the cool side of the pillow.

It reads much cooler in post sleep temperature than the competition. If you or someone you know sleeps you need the Purple Pillow. Click here to go to OnPurple.com Purple, no pressure. ::Action:: Mom! I caught the snitch I caught the snitch mom! Yes! Yes, yes! The snitch is mine! .