How to Use a Raw Egg to Determine if Your Mattress is Awful – Purple Mattress

What’s a super easy way to tell if your bed is awful? The egg test. Let me prove it. When it comes to mattresses, you used to have only 3 choices. Looking for some shoulder pain? Try a hard mattress. It may feel like a rock, and put pressure on your hips, but it’s the perfect way to tell your partner, “Hey baby, want some arthritis?” It just fails the raw egg test. Then there’s the soft mattress.

It starts out ok, but collapses over time, like some cheap sneakers, or Anakin Skywalker. And since it comes without back support, you get to try cool new hobbies, like chronic pain. But it also fails the raw egg test. Now let me explain the eggs. The raw egg test states that the perfect bed will let you put weight on raw eggs without breaking them. ‘Cause if a bed can cradle raw eggs while supporting all that weight, it’ll also cradle your pressure points while supporting your body, for maximum comfort. Well if the hard bed’s bad at cradling, and the soft bed’s bad at supporting, at least the medium bed is juuuuust… Terrible. It’s not firm enough for back support or soft enough for your pressure points, so in the end it’s just a sad middle ground, like limbo, or a whoosy centaur. It’s average. No one wants average. Now, to get around that… some beds come with $5,000 dollar remotes so you can choose between hard bed problems or soft bed problems. They’re so high-tech, they fail the egg test twice.

I don’t need a bed that’s hard, soft, or average. I need the best of firm and soft, without the drawbacks. Introducing Purple — the only mattress that cradles your pressure points like a soft bed, while supporting everywhere else like a firm one. Need proof? Lets check double check. Triple check. All the checks! And I am really heavy for a little girl from a fairytale. Yes, these raw eggs are raw. And no, we didn’t fake it. How lame would that be? You’re lame for thinking that. How can a bed be this comfortable? Maybe ‘cause it has 15 patents, was created by an actual rocket scientist, and uses a comfort grid system to distribute weight across any body type, giving you the best sleep you’ve ever had, guaranteed. Thanks, science. Now, there’s a catch. Most high-end mattresses cost 5,000 dollars. But ours is only 1,000. We’re sorry about that. We’re the best. But you can spend that extra money on, I don’t know… AN ADORABLE BABY BEAR?!?! AUGH!! But don’t let it on the mattress though, it will pee all over it. And while you’re saving money, you’ll save time too- ‘Cause we’re shipping the Purple right to your door for free.

Thankyou! Now I have two! We’re so convinced you’ll love Purple — if it doesn’t change your life in the first 100 nights, we’ll take it back for a complete refund. That’s Purple’s no pressure guarantee. I love you. So if you or someone you know sleeps, click here to buy your Purple at onpurple.com And say goodbye to the rock hard prison bed. The saggy swamp bed. The average bed. And the expensive remote. Get yourself into a Purple. And Mom and Pop, it’s not the 1940s. Share a bed already. And make sure it’s a Purple.

Becuase you guys have been sleeping in garbage. Click now to start your 100 night trial of nocturnal bliss. No pressure. It’s Purple. Action Need proof. Lift glass See those are real eggs not hardboiled not plastic not wooden I just burst them cut. That’s a cut! .

T-Pain Reviews the Purple Mattress

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Children of all age. It’s your homeboy T-pain, the official product tester of fancy.com. Now fancy.com usually sends me products to test out. Hence, product tester. And I love testing out all these products it’s one of my favourite things to do in the day. But you know my favorite kind of product to test? The kind I can go to sleep on. Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce to you Purple! Purple is a new, innovative mattress that I mean is probably the most comfortable thing in my house besides my gut according to my wife.

Purple is definitely not like your memory foam mattress. Here’s a fun fact: memory foam was created ten years before VHS. That’s right VHS! You don’t even know what that is. Purple is the world’s first no pressure mattress. You think about the memory foam mattress that you got right now, I’m pretty sure you got one, and it sinks. Stays where it is. It smells, especially when I get off of one.

You don’t want to smell that, at all. It gets real warm too, that’s another thing I don’t really like about warm mattresses ain’t really my thing, and over time you begin to lose support so what’s the solution? Purple! Super dope mattress! 26 patents and 25 years of of comfort innovation by an actual rocket scientist. You know how people always say “Oh, it’s not rocket science!” Yes it is it actually is! The purple masters uses a Hyper-Elastic Polymer a.k.a. Purple. It cradles your pressure points to relieve pain everywhere on your body and you’ll have better spinal alignment.

It’s really the best of both worlds. it’s firm and it’s soft. That means no more pain and better sleep. I’ve looked online at the purple Mattress and most of the reviews are people talking about how their aches and pains are gone within weeks of sleeping on the purple mattress. It’s actually pretty cool. This is pretty comfortable. I don’t know how successful I’m going to be getting up after filming this. Terrible idea to film this like this. The open grid, waffle like design helps air flow through the mattress, so it helps you sleep cool like Billy Dee Williams. Now if you’re anything like me, that helps you avoid that swamp canoe that you wake up to on the memory foam mattresses. You just in a in a whole little tight spot and you’re sweating and you’re stinking and farting a few times. A lot going on You don’t want that. Now I can shoot this commercial like this because they gave me a hundred day trial if I don’t like it I can ship it back within a hundred days, even if I farted on it already. Pretty good. Good idea. All-in-all, the Purple Mattress so far so good I don’t know how I’m going to get up. It’s the Purple Mattress.

Feels good so far. I got 99 days left to tell them otherwise. I don’t think I’m sending it back now. This is your boy T-Pain, official product tester fancy.com. See you next time! .

Side Sleeping Will Never Be the Same. #purple

Hi, I’m Goldilocks. What’s a scientific way to tell that your bed is terrible for side sleeping? I give you: The Side Sleeper Test This is Terry, an actual purple scientist. And these are the three bears And because this is a mattress commercial Here’s an attractive model! When sleeping on your side, the best spinal alignment is straight. If your spine is bending, it’s straining. And with 8 hours in that position Just make sure you befriend a chiropractor, like ASAP. Let’s observe the spine curvature of the attractive model on different beds. Remember a straight spine is the goal. First, the flat bare ground Ouch! $3,500 Memory Foam mattress No thank you! Pillow Top bed Uh Uh $5000 Air Bed: Hard Setting Soft Setting If spines could talk (scream) Leading Bed in a Box Now, watch the difference with Purple… …A Straight Spine Purple cradles your pressure points while supporting everywhere else, Keeping your spine straight Now you can sleep as comfortably as a distinguished scientist in a fluffy bed of bears. So if you love your sleep AND your spine, Click above to buy your Purple bed at OnPurple.com.

No pressure, it’s Purple .